Signs You’re No Longer in College

All of these are hilariously true indicators that you are getting old! Most of these you would have done during your time at college now you’ve swapped the for lowkey thrills, like emptying the laundry basket.

1.You no longer know what time fast food drive-thru windows close.
2.Your potted plants stay alive.
3.You pay at least a dollar more than the minimum payment on your credit card bill.
4.Your friends’ hook-ups and break-ups are now marriages and divorces.
5.You attend parties that the police don’t raid.

6.You’re not expected to leave the room when the adults are talking.
7.You refer to college students as “those kids.”
8.You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of just beer, beer and beer.
9.You feed your dog actual dog food instead of leftover pizza.
10.At 6 a.m., you’re putting your contact lens in instead of taking them out.

11.Naps are no longer weekday options.
12.Dating involves dinner and a movie, not Keggers and all night House Party.
13.Grocery lists contain more than toilet paper and potato chips.
14.You leave parties because you have a busy day tomorrow, not because the EMS guy has strapped you down.
15.You now say “It was so nice to see you” instead of “We should hang out soon!!”
16.Your idea of “pre-gaming” is drinking alone in your apartment and then never actually going out.


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