Destini Ann, known as @destiny.ann on TikTok, has gone viral for her parenting techniques, which of course, every parent should take note of. The mom recently took to the platform and shared three positive go-to phrases when talking with her children. The clip went viral, hitting over 7 million views, and parents/ yet-to-be parents’ followers in the comments couldn’t hold back their agreement.
Destini Ann went viral for sharing 3 things she never says to her children.
Destini is a single mom who practices positive parenting; this is referred to as a parenting style that teaches discipline to build a child’s self-esteem. Destini shares her knowledge and experience, covering topics many people want to hear about. She has an estimated 1.1 million followers and holds classes, live videos, and even Q&A sessions.
More info: TikTok
Destini doesn’t use her position as a parent and adult as the reason why her children should listen to her.
For her newest clip, Destini claims she doesn’t use her position as a parent and adult as the reason why her children should listen to her. “Here are three things I never say to my kids. And by never, I mean “mostly never, try not to!” She captioned the post. 1. “I’M THE ADULT; YOU ARE THE CHILD. I’M BIG, YOU ARE SMALL. LISTEN TO ME BECAUSE I SAID SO.” Destiny’s first phrase read.
Instead of establishing authority, Destini advises parents to reassure their children they have the best intentions.
She explained it: “I don’t have to belittle you to get you to listen to me. I’m more creative than that. So instead, I’ll say something like, “YOU CAN TRUST MOMMY. I PROMISE I GOT YOUR BACK!” Destini explains that parent shouldn’t belittle their children, and instead of establishing authority, they should reassure children that their parents have the best intentions when asking them to do something.
2. “I NEVER SAY, “STOP CRYING!” KIDS CRY. ADULTS CRY. WHAT I WILL SAY INSTEAD IS, “OH BABY, WHY ARE YOU CRYING?” OR EVEN BETTER, “OH, YOU’RE CRYING? WHAT DO YOU NEED? “WHY ARE YOU CRYING?” IS GREAT, BUT IT IS STILL FOCUSING ON THE PROBLEM. “WHAT DO YOU NEED?” IT IMMEDIATELY GETS US TO FOCUS ON HOW WE CAN SOLVE IT. “I NEED A BAND-AID, I NEED A HUG, I NEED A NAP!” THAT’S ALWAYS MY PROBLEM!”
The mom doesn’t order her kids to stop crying instead helps to solve the reason why they are crying.
The second (mentioned above) phrase highlights that parents should never tell their children to ‘Stop Crying.’ The TikToker suggests that instead of demanding that, it’s more productive to ask them what caused them to cry or, even better, to ask them what they need to help them stop crying. As Destini explains, it’s way better to focus on how to solve the issue rather than the problem itself.
3. “AND THEN LASTLY, I TRY REALLY, REALLY HARD NOT JUST SAY “GOOD JOB!” INSTEAD, I WANT TO GIVE THEM SPECIFIC REASONS WHY I’M PROUD OF THEM OR WHY I THINK THEY DID GOOD. IT SHOWS MY KIDS THAT I REALLY AM PRESENT WITH THEM, AND IT IS GREAT FOR OUR RELATIONSHIP. SO IF MY CHILD BRINGS ME A PICTURE, INSTEAD OF JUST SAYING, “OH, YOU DID A GOOD JOB!” I’M GOING TO SAY, “OH MY GOSH.”
Lastly, Destini advises pointing out the specific parents are proud their children have done rather than remarking “Good job”
“I LOVE HOW YOU SWIRLED THE PURPLE AND THE BLUE TOGETHER OR “OH MAN, LAST TIME YOU DREW ONE BUNNY AND THIS TIME YOU DREW TWO. THAT LOOKS SO CUTE!” GIVING THEM SPECIFIES LETS THEM KNOW I’M ACTUALLY PAYING ATTENTION, I’M HERE WITH YOU, AND I LOVE WHAT YOU DID.”
Destini believes it’s not ideal to say to children a plan Good Job. According to the mom, the better way to compliment a child is to focus on specifics. What’s the exact thing that you are proud of them for doing? This, she added, builds a stronger relationship between her and her child because it shows the little ones that their parent is present and paying attention to them. Are you in agreement with Destini’s approach?
Here’s What People Had To Say About Destini’s Post:
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